Meet My Soul Sister

This lovely lady next to me is my best friend and soul sister, Christine. It seems that she and I are complete mirrors of each other when it comes to our families, beliefs, political views, and even what point in our journey we are on. Our families are both comprised of two boys and a girl, we are both Catholic, Republican, and seem to be facing the same joys and struggles when it comes to day-to-day life. We even share the same birthdays...sort of. Our birthdays are exactly 6 months apart to the day (May 21 and November 21), so my birthday is on her half birthday and vice versa.

Christine and I met towards the end of our freshman year at Saint Mary's because we needed roommates for sophomore year. We were essentially strangers to each other when we moved into our room sophomore year knowing little other than first names. In the beginning we, or rather, I was reserved as I wasn't really expecting much out of us being roommates. By the end of the semester we had become closer than I ever would have imagined and decided to room together for our junior year. The close of fall semester meant Christine packing up her things and shipping out to Rome for her semester abroad. This made for a very sad me during most of spring semester.

Us rooming together was the start of probably one of the best relationships I have. Though we have had our share of rough patches, it has never been something that a little airing out the dirty laundry couldn't fix. Our senior year, we weren't able to room together but we were able to keep the relationship alive by having lunch together every week. Since graduating, weekly lunch has changed to weekly Skype sessions. She has been able to come out to California to visit me three times since we met and is basically the honorary child in my family, which I can't complain about. Though my stays at her house have been overnight stays, I always felt welcome and like a part of their family when I did stay with them. The first half of my 21st birthday was spent at Christine's house.  This year, I plan to spend Christmastime with her family.

Christine has been such a blessing in my life. I know I can count on her for anything and that she is probably going to be having the same experience that I am having. Knowing that there is at least one other person who is going through what I am going through, be it good or bad, is a huge comfort. If I have sad or happy news, the first person I want to tell the news to is my soul sister Christine. To quote Christina Yang from the TV show Grey's Anatomy, "She's my person. If I murdered someone, she's the person I'd call to help me drag the corpse across the living room floor. She's my person."

Now, for your listening pleasure, I give you the song that inspired this blog.

Anxiety

While I was in Philadelphia, a certain bible verse popped up 2 or 3 times within a 24 hour period.  It was Philippians 4: 6-7, which says "Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God. Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."

Raise your hand if you've ever heard or read this verse. I have come across this verse many times in my lifetime. In all honesty, I find it one of the more difficult verses to live out because I have issues with anxiety. I've never been diagnosed, but having majored in psychology I am pretty sure that I have generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) and panic attacks. So anxiety is pretty much a part of my daily life. Some of the anxieties I have on a daily basis are getting in a car accident at any given moment, getting food poisoning from the previous meal, and not being able to do nursing. These are pretty easy to control just by constantly reminding myself of the rules and regulations that are there so things like car accidents and food poisoning don't happen. Bigger things such as an interview or other such major events can lead to an anxiety attack. Most recently, I had an anxiety attack the night we left for Philadelphia because it was my first time flying in almost a year. I also mentioned panic attacks. These happen less often than an anxiety attack and when they do happen, it is typically during mass while we are saying the Our Father.

Side note time. There is a difference between an anxiety attack and a panic attack. The similarity lies in the fact that they both trigger a flight-or-flight response. The difference is the length and some symptoms. In my experience, anxiety attacks last for hours whereas panic attacks subside in about 15-20 minutes. With anxiety attacks, I have an overwhelming sense of something-bad-is-going-to-happen, restlessness, nausea, shaking, and shallow breathing. Panic attacks consist of increased heart rate, feeling faint, shaking, shallow breathing and feeling panicky after the faint feeling subsides.

Anxiety is not a pleasant thing to deal with. I have found ways to help lessen the intensity or duration of an anxiety/panic attack. One thing that I have found that helps the anxiety is to have a mantra. Since coming back from Philadelphia, the verse from Philippians has become one of my mantras, in particular the "Have no anxiety at all" part. My other mantra is "Come, Holy Spirit." I have found that these mantras help me feel safe and the repetition of either really does have an calming effect on me.

I hope this post was helpful to anyone who is dealing with anxiety problems. You are not alone and it is possible to regain control of your mind even if it feels like your mind is controlling you.