Today, I had a pretty important interview at Asuza Pacific University for their entry-level Masters nursing program. I went in feeling pretty good, but came out feeling not-so-good. I was informed that a) I will probably not be accepted due to my low GPA unless a miracle occurs and b) if I choose to reapply or am considering applying anywhere else, I will have to retake at least 3 classes so that I can have a stronger application. The classes that I would be retaking are Introduction to Organic Chemistry, Microbiology, and Oral Communications. So...that sucks.
After excessively ruminating on the information I received today, I find myself once again not really knowing what I am going to be doing with my life and feeling like I have been wasting my time. I know that I will probably not be going to nursing school within the next 12 months as I had planned and I know that I will be doing summer school. I also know that I will be continuing with my CCE program at the hospital. I partially blame one of my recommendors for the waste-of-time feeling. She had not sent my letter of recommendation in on time and so my application had to be rolled over into the next batch of applications. Had that not been the case, I would probably be working on retaking those classes already.
I am left with the job of figuring out Plan C. Plan A was to graduate with a nursing degree and Plan B was to start an accelerated nursing program by fall of 2013 or spring of 2014. I am frustrated and I am tired of failing. In the midst of that frustration, there is a slight sense of relief. I am relieved to know the reason I shouldn't expect to be accepted anywhere and what I can do to fix it for the next time around; otherwise I would just keep applying, getting rejected, and not know why. The next time around will be at least another 6-12 months from now. Until then, I will probably have to start at the lowest nursing rung possible and get a job as a CNA so I can make some more money and strengthen my application.
Through all of this, I have to remember that all options have not been exhausted and there is no timeline that I must follow. I have 24 more letters to go. Although in my timeline, I should be a nurse by now, getting married by 30, and having my first child by 33, my life is not set in stone from the very beginning. It is also helpful to know that my best friend Christine and I are essentially on the same life paths and are both going through the same thing. Perhaps that is a topic for another post.
In other news, I am nearly done with my Telemetry rotation as a CCE. I have enjoyed this rotation much more than the last rotation. It is more fast-paced and I am constantly doing discharges. Also, the family that I nanny for has had a new addition to the family. This new baby girl is just over a week old and is an extremely easy-going baby. She is precious and I look forward to the day when I can hold this beautiful baby.
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Thursday, February 21, 2013
"He Said"
"So your life feels like it don't make sense
And you think to yourself, 'I'm a good person'
So why do these things keep happening?
Why you gotta deal with them?
You may be knocked down now
but don't forget what He said, He said
I won't give you more, more then you can take
and I might let you bend, but I won't let you break
and No, I'll never ever let you go
Don't you forget what He said"
These are the opening lyrics to a song I recently discovered via Pandora entitled "He Said" by a Christian band named Group 1 Crew. This has to be one of my favorite Pandora discoveries.
Everything about this song is amazing and it really speaks to me. The number of times in my life I have asked "Why do these things keep happening?" is almost too many to count. I have had so many difficult times where I felt like I kept getting knocked down and felt like I was at my breaking point. I have had to deal with heartache, loss of loved ones, loss of friends, family illness, depression, anxiety, and the normal stresses. Sometimes it felt like they all came at once. This song serves as a great reminder to me that I'm not going to break anytime soon and whatever comes my way is there because God knows I am capable of handling it and He will help me find a way to cope with my stuggles. I hope you, my readers, can find some inspiration in this song as I did.
Here is the music video for "He Said". Enjoy!
And you think to yourself, 'I'm a good person'
So why do these things keep happening?
Why you gotta deal with them?
You may be knocked down now
but don't forget what He said, He said
I won't give you more, more then you can take
and I might let you bend, but I won't let you break
and No, I'll never ever let you go
Don't you forget what He said"
These are the opening lyrics to a song I recently discovered via Pandora entitled "He Said" by a Christian band named Group 1 Crew. This has to be one of my favorite Pandora discoveries.
Everything about this song is amazing and it really speaks to me. The number of times in my life I have asked "Why do these things keep happening?" is almost too many to count. I have had so many difficult times where I felt like I kept getting knocked down and felt like I was at my breaking point. I have had to deal with heartache, loss of loved ones, loss of friends, family illness, depression, anxiety, and the normal stresses. Sometimes it felt like they all came at once. This song serves as a great reminder to me that I'm not going to break anytime soon and whatever comes my way is there because God knows I am capable of handling it and He will help me find a way to cope with my stuggles. I hope you, my readers, can find some inspiration in this song as I did.
Here is the music video for "He Said". Enjoy!
Friday, February 8, 2013
Original Poem:Balloons
It has been quite some time since I wrote a poem. This my newest poem. It is about the time my good friend Joe and I released some balloons and a letter I had written. The letter was for my grandfather who had passed away and was written about a month after his death.
Four balloons.
One is like the ocean.
One is like a blade of grass.
One is like a medal.
One is like snow.
These four are tied together
with a letter.
All the words have been said
with a paper and a pen.
With my friend by my side,
we watch it float.
Above the water of St. Joseph.
Up near the tops of changing trees.
And into the clouds.
The things that were not said
when you were here
go up to you.
We stand nearly silent,
watching.
This moment brings peace
and knowledge of you
forever with me.
Four balloons.
One is like the ocean.
One is like a blade of grass.
One is like a medal.
One is like snow.
These four are tied together
with a letter.
All the words have been said
with a paper and a pen.
With my friend by my side,
we watch it float.
Above the water of St. Joseph.
Up near the tops of changing trees.
And into the clouds.
The things that were not said
when you were here
go up to you.
We stand nearly silent,
watching.
This moment brings peace
and knowledge of you
forever with me.
Friday, February 1, 2013
Book Review: The Time Keeper
I have been on somewhat of a reading kick for about a year now. Since January of last year I have read 8 books and just started Wuthering Heights, which will be book number 9. The last book I read was a book by Mitch Albom. I have now read four of his books, The Time Keeper included. The other books of his that I have read are Tuesdays with Morrie, The Five People You Meet in Heaven, and Have a Little Faith. All of his books are super quick reads and have wonderful messages. I think I have read each book in less than a week, but they could definitely be read in one sitting.
The Time Keeper is a fictional story and a bit of a strange book. In the book, there are three separate plots which all come together withing the last few chapters of the book. The underlying similarity between Dor, Victor, and Sarah--the three main characters-- is that they are all messing with time in their own way. Dor finds a way to measure time and eventually becomes Father Time as a punishment. Victor has a terminal illness and is searching for a way to live forever. Sarah is a teen girl from a broken family who is looking to end her life. For each of them, looking for and measuring time is a distraction from the beautiful moments and people that are around them. The only way for Dor's punishment to lift is to show Victor and Sarah how their decisions of what to do with their time affects the people in their lives. The message of the book is really simple and something that many of us have heard many times over: be in the moment or you will lose sight of what is important.
If any one of my readers is looking for a new book to read, I hope I helped you find your next book. :)
The Time Keeper is a fictional story and a bit of a strange book. In the book, there are three separate plots which all come together withing the last few chapters of the book. The underlying similarity between Dor, Victor, and Sarah--the three main characters-- is that they are all messing with time in their own way. Dor finds a way to measure time and eventually becomes Father Time as a punishment. Victor has a terminal illness and is searching for a way to live forever. Sarah is a teen girl from a broken family who is looking to end her life. For each of them, looking for and measuring time is a distraction from the beautiful moments and people that are around them. The only way for Dor's punishment to lift is to show Victor and Sarah how their decisions of what to do with their time affects the people in their lives. The message of the book is really simple and something that many of us have heard many times over: be in the moment or you will lose sight of what is important.
If any one of my readers is looking for a new book to read, I hope I helped you find your next book. :)
Rotations, Applications, and Uncertainty
As of Wednesday, I have accomplished two things in my path to nursing. First, I finished my first rotation at the hospital. Second, I submitted another nursing program application, which brings me to 4 out of 5 completed applications.
The last day of my first rotation at the hospital was this past Wednesday. Looking back on my first rotation, I can say that I enjoyed my experience on the medical pulmonary floor but I am glad to be moving on. One drawback about the floor is that it is notorious for having patients who are in isolation. These are the patients whose visitors need to put on a special gown, mask, and/or gloves before entering the room. Because I am a volunteer, I am not allowed to go into those rooms. This meant less helping the staff and less patient interaction. I did get to see many things that I will probably be seeing as a nurse. I got to help with dressing changes, physical therapy, IV and vital sign checks, blood draws, and of course discharges. On my downtime, I would restock isolation carts, glucose monitors, and visit with patients. Many patients were happy with how their hospital stay had progressed despite being in a hospital. Good patient care makes for happy patients. Next week, I move onto the telemetry/cardiac floor. This floor seems like it will be more fast-paced than the medical pulmonary floor. I'll be glad to be busy since it will make the time go by faster and it makes me feel more useful.
I have one more nursing program application to go. I've applied to 4 schools so far, all in the Southern California area. I will be applying back to Saint Mary's. The fact that by next month I will be receiving notification letters is mildly terrifying. Since all of the programs start at different times, I don't know where I'll be going or when I'll be starting as of now. My ultimate fear is that I don't get accepted anywhere. My top three choices are UCLA, Concordia University Irvine, and Saint Mary's. UCLA's program is ranked in the top 10 in Southern California, if I remember correctly which means more job opportunities and lots of clinical hours. If I were to go to CUI, I could live at home and possibly keep going to my Sunday ballet class. One thing I know is that I want to be do some type of dance wherever I go even if it is only once per week. Going back to Saint Mary's would be fun for me. I have friends who would be in their senior year (shout-out to Molly, Patrick, and Nicole!) and I know I would have no trouble feeling at home there.
As soon as all applications have gone out, it will be in God's hands. I will go where He leads me and will have a great outcome no matter what. Let the praying begin...or continue.
The last day of my first rotation at the hospital was this past Wednesday. Looking back on my first rotation, I can say that I enjoyed my experience on the medical pulmonary floor but I am glad to be moving on. One drawback about the floor is that it is notorious for having patients who are in isolation. These are the patients whose visitors need to put on a special gown, mask, and/or gloves before entering the room. Because I am a volunteer, I am not allowed to go into those rooms. This meant less helping the staff and less patient interaction. I did get to see many things that I will probably be seeing as a nurse. I got to help with dressing changes, physical therapy, IV and vital sign checks, blood draws, and of course discharges. On my downtime, I would restock isolation carts, glucose monitors, and visit with patients. Many patients were happy with how their hospital stay had progressed despite being in a hospital. Good patient care makes for happy patients. Next week, I move onto the telemetry/cardiac floor. This floor seems like it will be more fast-paced than the medical pulmonary floor. I'll be glad to be busy since it will make the time go by faster and it makes me feel more useful.
I have one more nursing program application to go. I've applied to 4 schools so far, all in the Southern California area. I will be applying back to Saint Mary's. The fact that by next month I will be receiving notification letters is mildly terrifying. Since all of the programs start at different times, I don't know where I'll be going or when I'll be starting as of now. My ultimate fear is that I don't get accepted anywhere. My top three choices are UCLA, Concordia University Irvine, and Saint Mary's. UCLA's program is ranked in the top 10 in Southern California, if I remember correctly which means more job opportunities and lots of clinical hours. If I were to go to CUI, I could live at home and possibly keep going to my Sunday ballet class. One thing I know is that I want to be do some type of dance wherever I go even if it is only once per week. Going back to Saint Mary's would be fun for me. I have friends who would be in their senior year (shout-out to Molly, Patrick, and Nicole!) and I know I would have no trouble feeling at home there.
As soon as all applications have gone out, it will be in God's hands. I will go where He leads me and will have a great outcome no matter what. Let the praying begin...or continue.
Monday, January 14, 2013
Why do I love Her?
I'm back! I know I have been terrible at keeping up with the one blog per week that I usually do, but that will change soon. This post will be about the inspiration behind the most recently posted poem, Miss Thee, Notre Dame.
After coming off a tough loss to Alabama last week, I found myself Domesick once again. I'm not really sure what caused the Domesickness. It may have been Christine leaving after 12 amazing days together or that I've been thrown out of my "routine" of packing up and going back to Saint Mary's and Notre Dame after a break again. I don't know. All I know is that I feel like I don't have certain things at home that I did at Saint Mary's.
I think it all comes down to feeling an insane amount of love for every single aspect of the Saint Mary's/Notre Dame community. My friend Mike put it extremely well. After the loss to Alabama, he said, "There are a million reasons why I love Our Lady's University, and football is only one of them." While Notre Dame football and everything that comes with it is amazing, there are tons of other reasons why I have so much love Notre Dame. I love Saint Mary's too, but I love Notre Dame more. I am not ashamed to say that while I was a student at Saint Mary's, Notre Dame always felt more like home to me than Saint Mary's ever did. I remember the exact moment when this realization came to me. It was the end of the first week of my senior year. After working at my Notre Dame job, I had planned to meet up with some friends for dinner and a play. So after work, I made my way towards the Keough Hall, one of the male dorms at Notre Dame. I was extremely excited and made it there as quickly as I could. The second I stepped into Keough, I got this almost overwhelming feeling of "I'm home." I got this feeling every time I stepped onto Notre Dame's campus or even thought about going over there.
Because Notre Dame always felt like I was at home there, there was rarely ever a time when I felt truly alone. I always knew that there would be someone that I could go to for anything no matter how small it was. It could be anything from needing a ride to the store to emotional support during a time of distress. I don't think I can count the number of times that this happened. I was always happy to see anyone and everyone and I looked forward to meeting up with my friends. Heck, I even looked forward to going over there to study in the library or the student center. Most days, I could be found doing something at Notre Dame whether it was working, studying, or just hanging out.
Another thing I loved and miss about Notre Dame and Saint Mary's is going to mass there. Everything about Notre Dame and Saint Mary's masses is perfection to me. To start off with, it is almost impossible to leave mass feeling like you didn't get anything useful out of the homily. Holy Cross priests make their homilies applicable everyday life and I would be hooked on every word for the entire length of the homily, be it 4 minutes or 24 minutes (although I don't think I encountered a 24-minute-long homily). We also had a beautiful sung version of the Our Father that we prayed when it came time for the Our Father. Saying the Our Father still feels strange to me even after almost a year of doing it. My favorite thing about mass, specifically Notre Dame masses, is that the giving of the Sign of Peace is a hug fest. For me, there is nothing like a hug fest to make you feel loved and happy. One time, the Peace hug fest served as a sedative for me. Essentially what happened was that I started having a minor panic attack during the Our Father and by the time the Peace hug fest was done, I was totally calm and out of my panic attack. Usually it takes me a good 10 minutes to come out of even a minor one.
I guess, in summary, those are the things that I miss most about being in the Notre Dame environment: 1) football fun, 2) the feeling of being at home, 3) knowing I am never truly alone, and 4) all the small things that make a perfect Mass. While I do have items 2 and 3 here at home, they aren't fully solidified for me yet. Perhaps I will make it my goal to solidify those items within the coming months.
After coming off a tough loss to Alabama last week, I found myself Domesick once again. I'm not really sure what caused the Domesickness. It may have been Christine leaving after 12 amazing days together or that I've been thrown out of my "routine" of packing up and going back to Saint Mary's and Notre Dame after a break again. I don't know. All I know is that I feel like I don't have certain things at home that I did at Saint Mary's.
I think it all comes down to feeling an insane amount of love for every single aspect of the Saint Mary's/Notre Dame community. My friend Mike put it extremely well. After the loss to Alabama, he said, "There are a million reasons why I love Our Lady's University, and football is only one of them." While Notre Dame football and everything that comes with it is amazing, there are tons of other reasons why I have so much love Notre Dame. I love Saint Mary's too, but I love Notre Dame more. I am not ashamed to say that while I was a student at Saint Mary's, Notre Dame always felt more like home to me than Saint Mary's ever did. I remember the exact moment when this realization came to me. It was the end of the first week of my senior year. After working at my Notre Dame job, I had planned to meet up with some friends for dinner and a play. So after work, I made my way towards the Keough Hall, one of the male dorms at Notre Dame. I was extremely excited and made it there as quickly as I could. The second I stepped into Keough, I got this almost overwhelming feeling of "I'm home." I got this feeling every time I stepped onto Notre Dame's campus or even thought about going over there.
Because Notre Dame always felt like I was at home there, there was rarely ever a time when I felt truly alone. I always knew that there would be someone that I could go to for anything no matter how small it was. It could be anything from needing a ride to the store to emotional support during a time of distress. I don't think I can count the number of times that this happened. I was always happy to see anyone and everyone and I looked forward to meeting up with my friends. Heck, I even looked forward to going over there to study in the library or the student center. Most days, I could be found doing something at Notre Dame whether it was working, studying, or just hanging out.
Another thing I loved and miss about Notre Dame and Saint Mary's is going to mass there. Everything about Notre Dame and Saint Mary's masses is perfection to me. To start off with, it is almost impossible to leave mass feeling like you didn't get anything useful out of the homily. Holy Cross priests make their homilies applicable everyday life and I would be hooked on every word for the entire length of the homily, be it 4 minutes or 24 minutes (although I don't think I encountered a 24-minute-long homily). We also had a beautiful sung version of the Our Father that we prayed when it came time for the Our Father. Saying the Our Father still feels strange to me even after almost a year of doing it. My favorite thing about mass, specifically Notre Dame masses, is that the giving of the Sign of Peace is a hug fest. For me, there is nothing like a hug fest to make you feel loved and happy. One time, the Peace hug fest served as a sedative for me. Essentially what happened was that I started having a minor panic attack during the Our Father and by the time the Peace hug fest was done, I was totally calm and out of my panic attack. Usually it takes me a good 10 minutes to come out of even a minor one.
I guess, in summary, those are the things that I miss most about being in the Notre Dame environment: 1) football fun, 2) the feeling of being at home, 3) knowing I am never truly alone, and 4) all the small things that make a perfect Mass. While I do have items 2 and 3 here at home, they aren't fully solidified for me yet. Perhaps I will make it my goal to solidify those items within the coming months.
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Christmas in California, Part 2
These are just some pictures Christine and I took while she was here.
We were the only ones at the Christmas tree lot and got to take a picture with Santa.
A cool sandcastle that was on the beach next to the ice rink in San Diego
Disneyland!
California Adventure! Yes, my eyes are open.
This is the ride we waited two hours for.
Lit up Christmas tree in Disneyland.
Looking our best for The Nutcracker. :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)