As part of yesterday's post, I said I had the choice on Sunday to either help with a youth ministry event or go eat with the young adult group and ended up choosing the youth ministry event which left me feeling more fulfilled than the other choice probably would have. This is my elaboratory post on that.
One thing they don't tell you about coming home after you've graduated college is that you might find yourself lacking the most in the place that you grew up. Home might not feel like home anymore. Your church might not feel like your church anymore. And that you might feel like you are your own community. And that is not a good feeling. I guess it makes sense because a lot can change in four years. People move in and out of the neighborhood, priests change, your friends that you went to youth group with are doing their own thing elsewhere, and you've just been forcibly sepearated from the people that may have become your life-long friends.
I knew I would be leaving a place that felt like home to me and where I had a wonderful, faith-based community. In order to prevent the feeling of being community-less, I signed up for a small faith-sharing group through my church. I went every week for two months before giving up. I gave up because I felt like a complete outsider at most of the meetings and wasn't feeling any more at home than I had right after I left Saint Mary's and Notre Dame. I just wasn't happy. After leaving the small faith group, I went to a couple of events with the young adult group but I still didn't feel like it was right for me. For one thing, everyone in the young adult group is at least 3-5 years older than me and have real-people jobs. I also felt that some of the women in the group were a little bit cliquey; they tended to have their own conversations without regard for any fresh pairs of ears. The men in the group are inclusive in their conversations. After talking to a friend of mine who also just graduated college and is relatively new to the church, I realized I was not alone in how I felt about the young adult group. I really do hope someone from the young adult group reads this post so they can learn from my experience and be aware of it so no one else goes through feeling like they don't belong in a group where they are supposed to belong.
That is why I chose to help man the youth ministry event instead of going out to eat with the young adult group. Some of you may be wondering, "Why didn't you keep trying with the young adult group? It takes more than a couple of meetings to know if its for you or not." In my experience, I have always felt like I belonged to a faith-based group after the first meeting or two. Granted, I knew most of the people that were in my junior high and high school youth groups. While I was at Saint Mary's, I joined a group at Notre Dame called Four:7, which is essentially a praise, worship, and fellowship group. When I went to my first Four:7 night, I knew one person. One out of about 50. I left that night with a smile on my face, less stress, and an I-can't-wait-to-go-back-next-week-and every-week-after-that feeling. This was not the case with the young adult or the small faith groups. It was the case with the youth ministry kids.
I'm glad I made the choice that I did. I don't know if I'll go to any more young adult group events, but I may. For now, I have found my place with the junior high and hihg school youth ministry team.
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